All around you, you see people quickly making friends, enjoying lively conversations, having a good time, and getting as many dates as they desire.
You think to yourself "What is wrong with me? Why can other people make friends so easily but I can’t? Am I just an unlikable person?"
Believe me, I know. For many years, I was just about the shyest person you ever met. Call me a "recovering shy guy."
In all those years as a shy person, I became intensely aware of just what is wrong with being shy. I had trouble making friends, never went on dates, and generally just sat by myself in the cafeteria at lunch time, pretending I wasn’t lonely.
You see, I know how frustrating it is to go through life being unable to draw other people into warm personal contacts!
The greatest need of human beings aside from food, clothing and shelter is that of human companionship. Shyness strikes at the very core of what it means to be human—the ability to make that vital human connection with others!
The fact is that shyness or social phobia, depending on their degree, can keep you from making friends, finding a mate, even getting or holding onto a job. How outgoing you are, in large part, determines whether you become a janitor or a manager, a delivery driver or the head of the company. No matter how skilled you are in your particular field of expertise, if you lack skill in dealing with other people, you will have a tough time achieving success.
The big city, a new school or the dog-eat-dog world of work can seem like awfully inhospitable places without the comfort and warm companionship of good friends. Some people are able to make friends in their first day of entering a new environment. Others aren’t able to form close friendships even after several years!
While the popular conception of shy people may be that they are aloof or distant, unlike true introverts, shy people are actually far from indifferent to the desire to be well-liked. In fact, shy people may be even more concerned about being liked than extroverts, since, for shy people, the goal of popularity may be harder to attain and thus more tantalizing.
And this is why shyness can be so maddening. On the one hand, it makes it difficult to become well-liked, but on the other hand, it creates a feverish desire to be liked, since we all tend to desire most those things that are withheld from us!
Extreme shyness can even mean that you feel unhappy or uncomfortable whenever you find yourself around other people. This is, of course, a large percentage of the time for the student, the employee or anyone else for that… Read more…
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